Ep 4: Of Horses & Ponytails
Is your ponytail a cat? Mine is a Jack Russell.
Ever wonder why some girls have beautiful hair, every day? Every waking and sleeping moment? Well, me too. In this episode, I tell a tall tale of a dystopian world where effortless Rapunzels walk the face of this earth, banishing us mere mortals to hair purgatory. Listen on for the fairytale ending to our deepest, darkest insecurities.
Do you know someone who never has a bad hair day?
Hello girls with long hair. I need to begin this podcast with a poll. Do you know someone who never has a bad hair day? Especially if they have long hair. If you’ve attended exercise classes, travelled or hiked with such girls, I understand how you feel. I imagine spending the 2 minutes in the morning prepping your hair before you head out for a day of sporty activities- isn’t quite the glam-do expected of a hot dinner date. I mean, hair in a ponytail, how different can it look? Turns out. Very.
Apparently, some girls are natural glamazons whose ponytails are as friendly and obedient as..hm.. a cat? Whereas my ponytail is more like a perpetually manic Jack Russell. If your ponytail has a mind of its own, you may observe the following. Stray hairs of various lengths that appear out of no where, sticking out of the sides of your ponytail in all directions. They are not baby hairs, just hairs that don’t look like they ought to be there. It’s really unfair because we know for sure that no one cuts their hair that it all ends up with such different lengths. Yet, these hairs that stick out. One wouldn’t exactly call it frizz, split ends, damaged hair. These are actually perfectly innocent hairs belonging to you that are just unfortunately, in the wrong place at absolutely the wrong time.
The perfect ponytail
To put it bluntly, with these hairs, it almost feels like you are being maligned. We know how us girls feel self-conscious without makeup? Well, stray hairs like these are worse. You know exactly how to keep your hair in place on date night, but which girl has the photoshoot perfect ponytail when they are out exercising? Sadly, we all know someone who does. And they are the root cause of your hair anxieties.
Keeping your hair in place with the best hair elastic
Which brings us to lesson #4. Some girls with long hair have superpowers to keep their hair in place. Whatever they say about frizzy hair solutions does not make sense. When you are all hot and sweaty, how do you expect a perfect ponytail? I mean, shouldn’t we be chiefly concerned with the hair elastic slipping off?
Ever lose your hair tie?
By the way, have you experienced the catastrophe losing your elastic in the middle of nowhere? If you thought it was bad, as I always felt was so.
Let me tell a story of the worst ever hair elastic nightmare that I’ve ever experienced. So in my equestrian days, I learnt that plaiting my hair gave me bonus points during the judging round for twinning with my horse.
Just kidding. I learnt that plaiting my hair was the most reasonable hairstyle for girls with long hair planning to spend a long stressful session with their horse friends. If you have ever horsed around, you will know that ponytails under a helmet are prone to getting matted and stuck on the Velcro sides.
The best hair elastic will keep your ponytail up
Besides the fact that the ponytail has to be essentially way too low to be comfortable or feeling secure in order for it to fit under the helmet. So plaiting my hair was a rational choice. So one fine day out of the blue, my plait failed me in the worst possible way. No, I didn’t fall off my high horse. My hair elastic did. In the middle of the arena while I was mounted on a 2m high gelding, my hair came undone because guess what, the hair elastic had slipped off.
This is a true catastrophe. Riding lessons are timed to the second. One ensures you arrive exactly 5 minutes earlier than the start of your 45 minute lesson to get ready. And when time is up, it is up. Simply put, you don’t have the luxury of dismounting in the middle of the lesson searching for your lost hair elastic. Needless to say, you definitely don’t even let go of your reins to tie your hair while you are on your horse friend. Unless, you are.. well hair brained.
Do you have your own hair nightmares you want to share?
So anyway, I spent the next 40 minutes of my lesson with my long straggly unwashed morning hair disgustingly stuck to the nape of my neck peeking out of my helmet in sweltering 35 degrees tropical weather and 100% humidity levels. My hair, getting painfully snagged by the velcro sides of my headgear with every single trot. And yet, I would have to pretend that I was perfectly comfortable. You must be wondering about that. Let me explain, horses are very sensitive creatures. The school horses I was riding, they swap out regularly, so you don’t always ride the same horse.
The issue here is that horses read your emotions in a god-like fashion. They can’t see you, but they can certainly feel if you are irritated, uncomfortable in anyway and that is a sure fire way for them to get on your nerves. You see, horses are prey animals. So when one works with them, one has to exert a sense of dominance (different from confidence or arrogance) but a sense of respectful boundaries that works both ways. You have to exert this through an orchestration of manoeuvres that include your body language, physical skill/fitness and also by exuding this aura that you are the boss. Albeit a nice one. It’s hard to explain but if any of these go wrong, your horse friend (especially if he’s not mister nice guy) will try his horsest to rile you just to show you who’s boss for the day.
Phew. That was so exhausting just re-living the moment. Thankfully, I survived.
What did you think about that? Is your ponytail a crazy Jack Russell like mine? Do you have your own hair nightmares you want to share? Do leave a comment in our Q & A segment to let me know! I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s episode and do remember to check out our podcast website www.needyhair.com for episode recaps and more tips for girls with long hair!
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